How to Support Someone You Love
Supporting someone you love through mental health struggles can feel confusing, scary and overwhelming. You may worry about saying the wrong thing, doing too little, or making things worse. This section is designed to make that easier. Here you will find clear, compassionate guidance on how to show up for someone in crisis or simply someone who is struggling day to day. You do not need to be an expert to make a difference. Your presence, your patience and your willingness to learn can be life changing for the person you care about.
When someone you love is struggling, simple and steady words are often the most powerful. You can say “I care about you and I am here to listen,” or “You do not have to go through this alone.” Ask open questions like “What do you need right now?” or “How can I support you today?” Reassure them that their feelings matter and that it is okay to talk about them. Reflect back what you hear so they feel understood, such as “That sounds really heavy” or “I can see how hard this has been for you.” You do not need perfect answers. You just need to show up with honesty and care.
What to say
Avoid comments that minimize, dismiss or pressure. Phrases like “Just relax,” “Get over it,” “It could be worse,” or “You are being dramatic” can deepen shame and close communication. Do not rush to fix everything, offer clichés or blame them for how they feel. Avoid telling them what they “should” do or comparing their struggle to someone else’s. Instead, focus on understanding, not correcting. Your role is to support, not to diagnose or control their emotions. Silence is better than saying something invalidating.
What NOT to say
How to React to Suicidal Disclosure
If someone tells you they are thinking about ending their life, take them seriously and respond with calm presence. Start with “Thank you for telling me” and “I am here with you.” Avoid panic, shock or anger. Gently ask if they have a plan, if they feel safe and what led them to tell you. Stay with them physically if possible or stay on the phone if not. Encourage them to reach out to professional help and offer to go with them. If they are in immediate danger, call your local crisis line or emergency services. You are not betraying them by getting help. You are protecting their safety.
You can support someone’s emotional regulation by offering grounding strategies without judgment. Invite them to take a slow breath with you or name five things they can see in the room. Speak slowly and gently. Create a calm environment by reducing noise and giving space. Let them know that their emotions are real and valid while also reminding them that intense feelings do not last forever. Encourage breaks, hydration, soft blankets, calming activities or stepping outside for fresh air if they want to. You cannot regulate their emotions for them, but you can help them feel safe enough to regulate themselves.
Tips for Emotional Regulation
Understanding Trauma Responses
Trauma responses often look like overreactions from the outside, but they are actually the body trying to protect itself. Your loved one might shut down, dissociate, get overwhelmed quickly, become irritable or pull away. These responses are not personal. They are survival instincts. Instead of questioning their reactions, try saying “I am not going anywhere, and you are safe with me.” Give them choices, space and reassurance. Understanding their triggers helps you respond with compassion rather than confusion. Trauma healing takes time, and your patience can help them feel grounded again.
It is time to seek outside help when your loved one cannot keep themselves safe, when their behaviour becomes unpredictable or when they express suicidal intent. It is also time to call for help if they are experiencing hallucinations, delusions, intense self harm urges or if you feel out of your depth. Reaching out does not mean you have failed. It means you are taking their safety seriously. Crisis lines, mobile crisis teams, emergency departments and mental health professionals exist for exactly these moments. You are not alone in this, and neither are they.
When It’s Time to Call for Help
